The Abin Sur: Be Sober, Be Vigilant (Or Don’t)
Posted August 23, 2009on:
Dude. DUDE. You guys. I am soooooo proud of this. Here. Drink this. No seriously. It’ll get you fucked UP… Yes.
I am drunk blogging, but it’s totally cool because I’m being supervised. I am blogging HARD. Anything incriminating will so be backspaced. After much testing (such fucking awesome testing [Except for the part where the prototypes were undrinkable and made us want to vomit blood-M]), we’ve invented a drink awesome enough to be as awesome as it is. Awesome.
Hey, drink a damn Abin Sur. What? Yeah. So good, it came before Hal Jordan. And Hal Jordan had a blood alcohol content of, like, a billion (see: Emerald Dawn). What’s in it? Cool your jets, Highball, I’ll tell you.
STEP ONE: A shot of Midori melon whatever. Ask for Midori and whoever will show it to you and you can buy it.
STEP TWO: Two shots of ginger ale. That shit is good. I drink it without booze and that says something.
STEP THREE: Like, a quarter tablespoon of Rose’s red grenadine something or other fuck it. Put it in a spoon. Get it close SO AS NOT TO FUCK UP SURFACE TENSION AND MAKE AN ORANGE PIECE OF SHIT LARFLEEZE ROBITUSSIN FUCK UP. Caps Lock: completely intentional. I’m that serious, you guys.
STEP FOUR: Grab a maraschino cherry and get it as close to the top of the drink as you can. And then get it CLOSER. Plunk it in there gently (GENTLY) and then look at it. Oh, man. You know what you’ve done?
You’ve made an Abin Sur. It will make you the most fucked up dude [or lady! – M] in Sector 2814. Right now. You will have to pass your keys whomever you deem worthy like a fucking Green Lantern deathbed ring (aaaaand relevance brings this to a close!). Do it!
[Also, I recommend drinking these after you’ve already been at it a while. They’re kind of, um, sweet. You pretty much have to pound it. Maybe a real bartender could perfect this, but we’re just mildly alcoholic comic nerds, what do you want from us? -M]