High Five! Comics

The Scarlet Speedster: the Fastest Drink Alive!

Posted on: September 21, 2009

flash1This drink was supposed to be the Red Tornado. Then it wasn’t. I don’t think the Red Tornado would drink very much alcoholic lemonade. Or very much of anything, really. Do androids drink? Should I even bother making a Phillip K. Dick joke?

Doesn’t matter.

This is another Drink Ink post and that means Maglight and I are drunk (not Jon, he’s into that Ben Franklin “early to bed, early to rise” responsibility shit).

Anyways, since I doubt the Red Tornado hits the sauce much, it seemed pretty obvious which heroes deserved to get a red drink with a yellow streak in it named after them: the Flashes. Jay, Barry, Wally, and Bart (especially Bart) all seem like they’d be totally down to drink boozy lemonade (even if their metabolisms would make them sober way, way too quickly, the poor dears).

“But what’s in it? Your throng of infatuated followers must know!” exclaimed the readers.

Cool your jets, Highballs and Cowgirls. Here you go.

One lemon zest-ish peel thing twisted to look like a spiral (er, ah, lightning bolt)! Some of that UV brand lemonade stuff! A dash of cherry grenadine (otherwise this looks like some girly-ass Atom Eve shit)! Drink!

flash 020

Actually, this drink is kinda girly. But you know, girly drinks are also CRAZY high in alcohol by volume (Will Rikers of the world take note*). So, do what I did. Make it, get thrashed, do something stupid, show up late, and apologize to your wives (juuuust like Uncle Barry).

*High Five! Comics does not condone date rape or stupid beards.

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9 Responses to "The Scarlet Speedster: the Fastest Drink Alive!"

I think it’s funny that you’ve equated America’s greatest lothario, Ben Franklin, with responsibility.

No see, that was the beauty of it! Ben Franklin had time to be a total cad, drunkard, womanizer, you name it – and STILL write almanacs and help found the country! Besides, he was only committing great sin so that he could know great forgiveness, amirite?

America’s “GREATEST” lothario? Sounds like somebody’s still in the dark on one President Rutherford B. Hayes…

especially Lisa. but ESPECIALLY Bart!

Looks good! You might get a kick out of a similar Flash drink my wife came up with. We didn’t name it, and the contents are totally different (vodka, cranberry juice, pomegranate soda)…but she also used lemon zest for the lightning bolt!

oooo, yours might be tastier. We’re usually pretty intoxicated by the time we come up with the final version, we make no promises on taste!

[…] Five! Comics has invented the world’s fastest drink: the Scarlet Speedster. In true Flash fashion, though, it’s not the first drink to ride the lightning! They’ve […]

Hehe you guys want a Flash Drank?

Flash Drank Formula

1/2 cup Fruit Punch Powerade (125 ml)

1/2 cup Cherry Vodka (I prefer Pinnacle) (2 and a half double shots)

1 cup/8.4 fl oz Red Bull (250 ml)

Mix in a Powerade bottle using chilled ingredients for best results. Shake vigorously after adding all the ingredients, serve up and enjoy.

Love this drink because

1) The Vodka will get you drunk fast

2) The Red Bull will make you move fast

3) The Powerade will rehydrate you and gives it the distinct red color.

Credit: Devin “The Flash” Johnson

Ok, this just sounds awesome.

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