The Scarlet Speedster: the Fastest Drink Alive!
Posted September 21, 2009on:
This drink was supposed to be the Red Tornado. Then it wasn’t. I don’t think the Red Tornado would drink very much alcoholic lemonade. Or very much of anything, really. Do androids drink? Should I even bother making a Phillip K. Dick joke?
This is another Drink Ink post and that means Maglight and I are drunk (not Jon, he’s into that Ben Franklin “early to bed, early to rise” responsibility shit).
Anyways, since I doubt the Red Tornado hits the sauce much, it seemed pretty obvious which heroes deserved to get a red drink with a yellow streak in it named after them: the Flashes. Jay, Barry, Wally, and Bart (especially Bart) all seem like they’d be totally down to drink boozy lemonade (even if their metabolisms would make them sober way, way too quickly, the poor dears).
“But what’s in it? Your throng of infatuated followers must know!” exclaimed the readers.
Cool your jets, Highballs and Cowgirls. Here you go.
One lemon zest-ish peel thing twisted to look like a spiral (er, ah, lightning bolt)! Some of that UV brand lemonade stuff! A dash of cherry grenadine (otherwise this looks like some girly-ass Atom Eve shit)! Drink!
Actually, this drink is kinda girly. But you know, girly drinks are also CRAZY high in alcohol by volume (Will Rikers of the world take note*). So, do what I did. Make it, get thrashed, do something stupid, show up late, and apologize to your wives (juuuust like Uncle Barry).
*High Five! Comics does not condone date rape or stupid beards.