Posts Tagged ‘Batman’
Rob: Don’t get me wrong. I’m a fan of Kevin Smith’s work. Chasing Amy and Mallrats are two of my top 50 movies. I subscribe to SModcast and love it. And, I mean, both his runs on Daredevil and Green Arrow were critically acclaimed, right? Hell, I’ll give Widening Gyre a shot. Why not? It’s Maggie’s copy.
I hate to say it, but this book is such a fucking mixed bag.
Quick note, spoilers abound.
The premise of this issue that Batman (Bruce Wayne! Awww, we miss you!) gets an emergency call from Arkham after busting up the convenience store-based (GROAN) front for a bunch of Neo-Nazis with Nightwing. He shows up at Arkham and sees the place overgrown with flora, immediately making him assume Ivy’s taken the joint over. Not so! Turns out she’s just trying to protect herself from a crazed Etrigan, who is running around eating the inmates’ faces. Yes.
Faces! They're magically delicious!
OK, I did like the subtle reference to Swamp Thing’s Gotham City rampage during Alan Moore’s tenure (fuck yeah, “unbeatable god”). I did like that it showed Ivy being powerful enough that even the Joker was at the mercy of her vines (which raises the question of how powerful she really is). I did like the fact that Etrigan actually spoke in rhyme and it was actually pretty well done (take a note, Wednesday Comics). Walt Flanagan’s art wasn’t spectacular, but it was all right (if you didn’t mind the fact that at times it looked like he ripped flashback-Robin straight out of All-Star Batman and Robin).
Why didn't she do this DECADES ago?
Also, I am actually interested in who this new vigilante is, which surprises me. See, we just went through wondering who Batman and Robin were going to end up being in “Battle for the Cowl,” and then who Batgirl was going to be in the months leading up to the eponymous series, and NOW who this new Red Hood is in Morrison’s Batman and Robin. I figured I would be SO OVER this game of “Guess Who: DC Universe Edition” they’ve got us playing, but I guess I’m not.
It’s a total bummer because there’s also all this shit I sooo wasn’t into.
First off, the mindless banter between Bruce and Dick Grayson. Talking about Baron Blitzkreig’s assault as “I don’t sweat it?” Saying that Nightwing has “pulled a me?” Kevin Smith should know that Bruce Wayne’s Batman is supposed to be extremely to the point. Writing him as Dick Grayson’s best buddy sort of takes away from the fear he’s supposed to strike in people. Seriously, it makes it read like next time Bruce and Dick cross paths, they’re going to have some bro grabs, hop in the Batmobile, and split an 18 pack of Bud Light while talking about all the Barbara Gordon tang they SHOULD be getting.
Where's the speculum?
Speaking of fictional vag, problem number two. Ivy spends the whole issue in a set of gynecological stirrups made of vines. She seriously spends the entire thing naked and spread eagle. And, because Kevin Smith is writing this, her vagina shoots out THC and toooootally gets Batman high. Kevin Smith has taken something Brodie and T.S. probably talked about in a deleted scene from Mallrats and said, “Fuck it, let’s just write it into the book.” At least we can finally ask Bruce if Ivy’s junk actually DOES look like a Georgia O’Keefe painting (come for the reviews, stay for the plant-genitalia jokes).
Whatever, I’m tired and it’s WAY hotter in here than it should be so I might as well wrap this up. Kevin Smith? Buddy. Dude. I will read issue two, OK? I promise. I just really hope that you stop writing this like it’s one of your movies. I don’t want to see Azrael showing up and looking like Jason Lee. [But- I’m a fucking demon!! -M]. I don’t want to see Solomon Grundy working at RST Video. Kevin, I guess what I’m trying to say is, well, I don’t want this to be your comic book Jersey Girl.
Maggie: OK, everything Rob hated about this book, I loved. I went into this hoping it would read like a Kevin Smith movie. Except, you know, with Batman. Ivy made me uncomfortable, but she’s supposed to. The lighter Golden Age cheese tone in the Dick & Bruce scenes was a nice departure from everything else going on in the DCU right now, which makes me need an entire room of Prozac. Also, I was never, ever afraid of Adam West.
The Ivy-gets-Batman high bit was hilarious. Particularly his reaction to it. Bruce Wayne probably NEEDS to go ahead, unclench, and partake every now and then.
You should buy the book for the Joker’s dialogue alone. He’s got like three panels but he kills it. What a fuckin’ psycho he is.
Also? NOTHING involving Bruce Wayne Batman could come close to sucking as hard as Jersey Girl. Not even an Austrian bodybuilder as Mr. Freeze.
Dude. Duuuuuuuude!
Batgirl #1 – Oh No, She Didn’t!
Posted on: August 22, 2009
- In: Recap!
- 2 Comments
This is a recap post. As such, it is SPOILERRIFIC. We clear? Okay. Batgirl #1 starts with a bunch of dumb boys racing to see who can stop just short of a wall while some gangleader takes bets on who’ll die, because criminals in Gotham are always psychotic or stupid. A bat-with-boobs swoops in, stopping both cars – but she’s sloppy and causes a lot of property damage and broken bones in the process. That alone should have told you who’s under that cowl.
Dick-Batman and Damien-Robin are skulking somewhere high above the action, just WATCHING, like dicks. They call her sloppy (she is), and Dick says she’s not as good as the OTHER Batgirl, kicking off the spotlight on the romantic tension between Dick and Babs that DC has promised to carry on throughout the year, DAMMIT. Just do it already.
Next page? SPLASH SPOILER ALERT it’s STEPHANIE BROWN, the Bat-family’s bitch. Batman & Robin (whoever they might be at any given moment) couldn’t give less of a shit about her most of the time, unless she’s literally DYING. Her relationship with Tim was full of dramz and afterschool specials that would never get a comics code stamp. A few Red Robin‘s ago she promised to stop patrolling in the Spoiler persona. Yet here she is, inexplicably wearing Cass Cain’s Batgirl costume, which I guess is her way of getting around that whole PROMISE she made to Tim Drake. I mean Wayne. Whatever.
Next, Stephanie’s mom brings her WAFFLES in BED. Best mom ever. But this was SPOILED at SDCC this year. I had prior knowledge of these waffles, dammit! Mom is proud of Steph for going to college and being normal, no more of that vigilante stuff. She steps towards Steph’s closet asking “What are you going to wear?” The Batgirl costume is hanging up in there, so Steph freaks out and gets between her mom and the closet door. I don’t know about you, but to my mom, that would have been a sign to open the closet door and figure out what the fuck I was hiding in there. But no. Mom leaves. Sigh of relief.
Next, Barbara is watching a ladies wheelchair basketball game, coached by Bruce’s friend Dr. Leslie Thompson. Leslie wants Barbara to play basketball with them. Barbara is FML Alan Moore made me so psychotically angry can’t deal. She takes the subway home, and some muggers go for the chick in the wheelchair. Babs gives them what-for, and enjoys the hell out of it and Barbara Gordon is so fucking awesome I can’t deal.
Stephanie in Philosophy 480 at Gotham U. She’s being flakey and not paying attention, drawing Bat symbols all over her notes. Spacing out, she flashes us back to…
Three weeks ago: Steph as Spoiler and Cass as Batgirl are fighting some thugs. There’s a cute little team up jinx moment here that is actually adorable, but when the fight is over Cass is all fuck this shit Bruce is dead and I don’t WANNA. So she gives her Batgirl costume to Steph and disappears.
Next up, Babs has dinner with Commissioner Dad. All the cops still love Barbara cos she was their “little red-headed mascot.” Babs is touched, maybe, but also non-plussed I think. Commissioner Dad wants to hook her up with the hot new detective at GCPD. Babs is annoyed. Dick Grayson calls, and she’s MORE annoyed, cos omg DO IT ALREADY.
Steph is at home, NOT doing her homework. She’s trying to find a way to rationalize breaking promises to at least three different people and going out on patrol anyway. She’s got a police scanner. Homework or vigilante-ism? Guess which one Steph picks?
There’s a riot in Gotham. Commissioner Gordon is there, his guys are getting killed left and right. Nick (who I think might be Hot! Detective) is with the bad guys. They’re roughing each other up until a little bat punches through the window. She does a pretty ok job of beating up the bad guys, but as usual, she kind of fucks it up, almost getting Hot! Detective Nick killed in the process. Nick radios back to Gordon; “I met my first Bat-person! …Wait? Which Bat are you again?” Stephanie skulks off, annoyed.
Next morning, the gratuitous shower scene. I guess she’s college age now so this isn’t THAT icky. Steph is tired, and thinks maybe she should have just done her homework instead of going out and beating up bad guys willy-nilly. She walks downstairs to see…
A VERY annoyed Barbara at her kitchen table. Steph’s mom is held up at work. Babs is annoyed as fuck. Babs tells Steph to have some waffles. This should be a fun talk…except, END of issue.
Yeah, I’m going to keep reading this as long as it’s Barbara-heavy. Honestly, Steph just needs Barbara in her ear at ALL moments of her life, in costume or not. I feel bad for Stephanie. Everyone loves Barbara, but Steph’s been consistently pulled into the Bat-family only to be unceremoniously dumped out of it how many times now? Maybe wearing the Bat-symbol for real will force her to grow up and be a little less nuts and a little more bad ass? Probably not, but getting this much Barbara in a book is good.
I’ll go ahead and a give it a 3.5 out of 5. It was kind of cheesy, but this is meant to be a lighter title, and I LOVE the Gordons so it gets a big boost for that alone. The second they stop showing up though…well, let’s just say I’m less likely to fork my money over for a Batgirl book without at least a Barbara cameo. Just sayin’.
Looking through my comic collection, I see that I somehow wound up owning the end of every Robin’s career as the sidekick. I’ve got The New Teen Titans: The Judas Contract, where Dick Grayson decides that he’s a little old to be running around rocking underoos and becomes Nightwing. I’ve got Batman: A Death in the Family where readers decided to kill off Jason Todd forever and ever and nevermind. And now, I’ve got Red Robin #1-3.
Now that Bruce Wayne is busy getting his skull licked by the Black Hand in Blackest Night (ew) and Battle for the Cowl is over, Dick Grayson has surprised absolutely nobody by taking over the role of Batman. First order of business? Taking the Robin uniform off of Tim Drake (who wants to be known as “Tim Wayne” from here on out) and putting it on Damian (who refuses to call Tim anything but simply “Drake”). Obviously, this is the kind of snivelling brattery that might make the now former sidekick cranky. So Tim has a little pissy fit, slaps Damian (dude, Damian almost killed you in Batman and Son and all you can do is bitchslap him?), knocks over some shit around Wayne Manor, then comes to the conclusion that Bruce Wayne ain’t dead. Revelation!
Tim decides to find Bruce, taking up the tarnished mantle of Red Robin, a persona already used by both Jason Todd (in Countdown to Final Crisis) and Ulysses Armstrong (formerly known as both the General and the shitty version of Anarky). Along the way, Tim is both helped and hindered by a bizarre assortment of characters including friends Cassie Sandsmark and Stephanie Brown (in what may be her last appearance in her Spoiler persona [It’s her second to last. Maybe. -M]), and enemies; the Wild Huntsman (who hasn’t been seen in, like, fifteen years or something and I’m pretty sure is dead), and finally, fucking Ra’s al Ghul.
One of my favorite things about this book is Chris Yost’s decision to use Tim Drake’s thoughts as the entire framing narrative. But there’s no Green Arrow preachiness, here. Instead, you get captions involving everything from the inane (when he blocks a punch by a Spanish guy with robot fire hands, the caption reads “Manos de fuego?”) to Tim judging his own actions immediately after he does them (“Stupid, catching that punch”). You’re along for the ride in Tim Drake’s head, which makes the entire story that much more relate-able.
I’m also digging the art of Ramon Bachs (most famous for some Front Line Marvel work and, holy shit, Dark Horse made a Shrek book?). His drawing of the Wild Huntsman in issue three had me rolling. I don’t know if it was supposed to be funny or not, but in a story with a much lighter tone than pretty much everything else going on in the DCU right now, I found it totally absurd in the best way possible. Unfortunately, Bach only has the gig until issue five. Oh well!
Anyway, this book is awesome enough that I broke my wait-for-the-trade rule. Totally worth getting into if you’re into the Batman: Reborn story line. If you’re gonna drink with this book, knock back some Arrogant Bastard ale since most of the characters in Red Robin seem to be, well, arrogant bastards.
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